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Jon Acuff

Group Prayer: The How to’s and The Houdinis

(Today is another great guest post from Gabriel Lytle! Check him out on Twitter too @gaberuski!)

If you’re not already cringing, then you may be what some would call a “sneaky snake.” (words chosen purposefully)

We’ve all been there.

They’ve just finished up weekly home group, the end draws near, the night is almost over and that can only mean one thing:

Time to pray. Out loud.

Your leader peers around the circle, and everyone is already saying a small prayer, “Please God, don’t pick me.”

One to play the Houdini card?

Here are 5 subtle moves to get out of dodge (Unless you’ve got Enoch-level clearance and can literally disappear):

  1. Put your head down, slowly. Don’t drop too fast, or he’ll pick you for being so eager to pray.
  2. Look prayerful, with eyes of terror. Make that face that let’s him know absolutely nothing is going on upstairs. It may help to have already royally screwed up a group question early in the night. “Psh, he’s not praying us out.”
  3. Start crying.
  4. Utilize anything that covers your face: hoodie, hands, or if you’re a glowing Moses, opt for the veil.
  5. It’s risky, but open your Bible (getting everyone’s attention), scan the pages, close your Bible, then shamefully shake your head. Your group leader will think, “He’s got nothing.”

In the (conspicuously frequent) event that you DO get picked, here are 5 how to tips on how to give an amazing group prayer:

  1. Repeat verbatim the prayer requests in order. They’re like packaged prayers. If you’re confident, turn the tablets by assigning them to others.
  2. Be sure to say “God” before and after every single word. Sometimes twice in a row. Won’t make sense in normal conversation, but somehow works in public prayer.
  3. Start crying.
  4. Open with, “Hey Daddy.” No one will like it, but they’ll all be thinking, “Wow. He’s actually speaking to someone.”
  5. Summarize the last worship song the group sang,

“God. You are the everlasting God. I’m talking, the everlasting God. You don’t even faint or take power naps. You defend the weak, like us (then chuckle). You comfort those in need, like us (touch the nearest leg). You lift us up on wings, wings like…eagles.”

I pray this helps. If anyone needs anything, Jon will be taking all “unspokens.”

Group members, have YOU ever done this?

What advice do you have for public prayer time?

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Comments

  1. We do group prayer a lot in our life groups. What makes it easier is kind of a tag team system. You say what you want to say and then someone else either says something new or expounds on your statement. To this day, I still feel very awkward doing it because I grew up with the “lock yourself in the closet so no one can see you praying” method. I’m a fan of the tag team system. It’s kind of like having your prayer machine gun on single shot instead of fully automatic. Still effective but you don’t run out of prayer ammo all at once!

  3. I also grew up in a tradition that doesn’t do group prayer. My life group knows that now, but when I first joined I was asked to pray for the group a few times, so I channeled Bartelby the Scribiner and threw in a Christian buzz word “I want to be authentic and so I need to tell you that I prefer not to.”

        • Absolutely. Nothing dazzles audiences and leaves people speechless like the phrase “I prefer not to.”

          Though I couldn’t quite figure out…did he die at the end of the story?? O.o

          • I think he preferred not to….but I’d prefer not to commit myself to that statement, so please don’t quote me.

  4. You need to step up your “God before and after every word” game by going to the Holy Thesaurus. I mean, if you’re a REAL Christian, you have somewhere the poster of all the names of God.

    So, this way you can do, “Lamb of God, you, oh Christ, are our Lord. Alpha, we beseech you, Omega, to, Great Physician, hear our prayer…”

    You do the rest. It’s very impressive. And personal.

  5. I love how Christians (including me) use ‘God’, ‘Lord’, ‘Father’ etc instead of ‘ummm’!

    Also ‘just’
    You sounds so much more spiritual saying ‘Dear Lord, we just ask, Lord, to just, Lord, deliver Jennifer from her, Father, her arthritis. And, merciful God, just give her, Lord, a good sleep, Lord, tonight.’

    Than the alternative: ‘we ask you, um, to um, deliver Jennifer from her, umm, arthritis. And, umm, give her, umm, a good sleep, umm, tonight’!

  6. Confession: I’ve thought about silently sneaking out of a prayer circle before it’s my turn, leaving everyone awkwardly silent, not opening their eyes, wondering when I’m going to speak up. But I was chicken and prayed my turn. Boo.

    • Maybe they’ll think the Rapture happened.

      This is the equivalent of sneaking extra biscuit during the grace before a meal. 🙂 My kids are 15 & 17, and I still find myself praying with one eye open sometimes.

  7. Tim Hawkins did a comedy bit on exactly this, at least the use of the word “just” and the multiple use of God, Father, etc. You can easily find it on YouTube. Very funny but I now find myself looking for it when others pray and have become self-aware of it when I pray. Thanks a lot, Tim (and now Jon)! 🙂

  8. I’ve even been volunteered to pray! Our group leader asked if anyone wanted to lead in prayer and at least 5 others in the group said in unison ‘Emma will.’. What?!?!?!?

  9. I hate praying outloud. I, for some reason, become a babbling fool whenever I pray outloud. (I usually do the Father, God, etc thing a lot to spread out my prayer…) I usually get a panic attack when ever we have to pray and a small group or at my job when everyone has to pray. (Kind of like a tagteam) I would literally break out in a sweat just waiting for my turn. I do much better when I pray in my head. Because of that, this article crack me up!

  10. Wait. You don’t like to pray aloud? I am a talker. So you’re saying I can talk as long as I like and everyone will bow their heads and listen in agreement? Can I get paid for this?

  11. Awesome. I can identify this. *laughs*… I wasn’t comfortable with it at first but now I volunteer once in a while. The only thing is that mine are always short.. . Like 1 minute short… so I don’t get picked regularly.

  12. We had this problem in my church’s youth group for a while, but that changed after one of our pastors came back from a missions trip. She met a group of Christians on her trip (I think she went to one of the Koreas) that all prayed out loud AT THE SAME TIME to make sure no one would feel uncomfortable about speaking. With everyone in the room praying at once, no one could hear you and think your prayer had too many “ums”, “Gods”, or “justs” in it. It’s worked quite well and no one has complained about it (yet).

  13. This is brilliant! I especially like the creative use of song lyrics. Sadly, I never seem to be able to duck out of being picked to pray out loud. As soon as the request is made, I panic. And in my panic I must exude some kind of “Pick Me! ooo – ooooo! Pick me!” radiant glow, because the more nervous I am, the more likely I am to get picked. Every. time.

  14. I would like for a prayer warrior to come to prayer circle in the full armor of God and pray out each piece of armor & weaponry. #goodtimes

  15. Great Blog. Glad to hear someone with enough guts to set it right. As the Lord says, the more honest prayers are said, alone, in the quiet of your room. (Matt 6:6) Lots of Scripture condemning public prayers, few if any condoning it!

  17. I remember when I use to take inventory of my shoes in case someone caught my eye and nodded for me to pray next but this was because my focus was on myself not God, The Holy Spirit is not mute as the Scriptures below confirms. When we pray in the closet of our heart, according to God’s will He hears and answers.

    For the Christian Prayer is not an option, but an opportunity to share in the Heart of God.

    Ephesians 6:17-19 And take the helmet of Salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all Saints;

    Romans 8:26-28 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And He that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because He maketh intercession for the Saints according to the will of God.

    Jude 1: 20 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,

    Christian Love – Anne

  18. Heh, another tip for optimizing group prayer is to engage Old Testament mode. Chock that sucker full of “thees,” “thous,” and Bible words in triplicate (holy holy holy for the classic, Jehoshaphat Jehoshaphat Jehoshaphat for the enterprising).

    Step up that public prayer game by throwing it back to the pre-deodorant era. Reap the holiness.

  19. I always volunteer to pray. That way I can wrap things up nice and quick. None of those 15 minute ending prayers with me. 🙂

    • Our college ministry pastor used to purposely pray very long prayers, to encourage the rest of us to step up and pray.

    • Holly,
      At my life group we have a meal afterwards and there’s nothing worse than when people pray for another 15 – 20 mins at the end of life group. I always feel like that one person tries to volunteer on purpose. I’m usually starving and the food always smells so good.

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