SCL

The next time I put TOMS shoes on my 4-year-old, we’re going to have to cut them off her with some sort of surgical equipment. Or maybe she can have an Incredible Hulk moment of rage and bust her feet right out. Either way, they’re just not fitting anymore.

And that’s a sad day for a hip little Christian like McRae. It takes an eternity and the dexterity of a Japanese poison blowfish chef to slide them on right now. But regardless, she and most of Christianity are in love with TOMS. And for good reason, every time you buy a pair, TOMS donates another pair to someone in need.

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I have long claimed that one of my few goals in life is to own a home that has a library with rolling ladder I can sing songs from.

Newsies songs, of course.

I’m a long way from there but until it happens, I continue to work my way through books. Here’s what I’m reading right now:

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(“Some Guy” sent me this guest post. That is literally his name. But despite his incredibly secrecy, he wrote a really, really funny post. I dug this and hope you do too.)

Growing up, I attended a small independent church and I went to a public school. I liked both of them, but the combination helped make me blissfully unaware of the larger trends in Christianity.

I was in for a rude awakening when I went from a Sunday school class of 5 or 6 high schoolers to a campus of about 2,000 Christians at college. I was suddenly surrounded by a bunch of people who were very spiritual. How did I know?

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Dear Big Church Hats,

Where do you go, my lovely? Where do you go? I want to know. Ohhhhweeeohhh.

I hate to quote the band, “No Mercy,” so early in a letter to you, but that’s what it’s come to Big Church Hats, isn’t it? I sit in church looking for you and you’re nowhere to be found. I scan the aisles for your melon protecting grandness, I look on the floor for the shadow of importance you cast at our feet but you remain hidden.

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We have a bit of a problem at our house.

One of our daughters is highly creative and one is highly generous. That means at any given time, the creative one is coming up with elaborate plans to trade rocks and sticks to the generous one for candy or toys. Thus lies the central issue at the great “Silly Bandz crisis of 2010.”

Though I swear we have given them both the same number of Silly Bandz, somehow, like a tiny, adorable Napoleon, my 6 year old has acquired most of my 4 year old’s Silly Bandz. She walks around with them all on one arm like some sort of child sized Slick Rick covered in rapper jewelry.

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I like salt & vinegar Pringles. They are clearly the most superior flavor. (Extreme Dill is like putting a belligerent pickle in your mouth.)

I like uniball micro pens. I can’t prove this, but when you use one, what you write is 14% better than with a ballpoint. I’m sorry, that’s just true.

I like college ruled notebooks. Wide ruled are for lazy people who don’t know how to respect a margin.

But you know what I like more than all of those things put together?

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Last week, Rick Warren tweeted something that got people all fired up.

I didn’t see the original tweet at first but based on the reaction, I thought he had said,

“I stole the idea for ‘Purpose Driven Life’ from an episode of Saved by the Bell where Zack realizes his band Zack Attack is not his purpose”

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The only flaw in the book, “Hipster Christianity,” is that author Brett McCraken mentions the Stuff Christians Like site. Should we ever meet, I fear that my unibrow, love of Robert Jordan books and unskinny jeans would instantly disqualify me from any degree of hipness.

But this is a great book and one that really challenges our growing obsession with “cool Christianity.” The subtitle, “When church and cool collide” sums up the conversation Brett starts perfectly.

And today, he has offered 5 free books to Stuff Christians Like readers.

To enter, just comment by Tuesday, August 17 with an answer to this question:

“What’s the dorkiest thing you have done lately?”

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A while ago we had a special giveaway for 20 one year subscriptions to Relevant Magazine. I’m excited to say we’ve got all the winners listed out at the bottom of this post. In some cases, I put the name of the magazine they said they liked beside the name so that you could easily identify if you were the winner.

If you won, please email me with the following info so that I can send it to Relevant and they can hook you up with a subscription: (I’ll delete your info after sending it to Relevant and will not do anything else with it.)

First Name

Last Name

Mailing Address

Phone Number

Email Address

(Winners listed after the drop)

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Recently, I had to write the “goodbye email” you write when you quit a job. I loved the company I worked for and knew I couldn’t take the standard approach. Below is what I wrote.

Five things you have to say when you quit:

You’ve got to write something interesting or funny, but what does that mean? I think it means that you include these five elements in your goodbye email:

1. Reassurance that the company you are leaving is still awesome.

The first thing people do when they leave a company is tell you that the company is still in fact wicked awesome. This is the “It’s not you, it’s me,” approach to changing jobs. Expect sentences like, “I am excited to see where this fantastic team takes the future of this company, which is bright like the sun!”

2. Explicit ways you grew as a human while employed at the company.

Sometimes goodbye emails get as emotional as the final scenes of the ABC show, “Extreme Home Makeover.” Expect sentences like, “I loved my time here and grew intellectually, physically and spiritually, learning so much about myself, my heart and Ruby on Rails.”

3. Promise a future run in.

You will work with a bunch of the same people over and over again, especially in Atlanta. Whether you end up at a news site, a weather site or dare I say a purveyor of health related information, it all comes back full circle. Expect sentences like, “Atlanta is a small town and I hope our paths cross again.”

4. Vague description of where you are going

Your ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to hear about how attractive your new girlfriend is. Stay high level and general. Expect sentences like, “I am excited about pursuing my new opportunity.” You could be going to a tech company or Guam with a sentence like that.

5. Contact info.

You’ve got to leave your contact info and this is my favorite part. I like it because it’s always revealing to see someone’s private email address. Often you get surprised with something like “You can reach me at worldofwarcraftgreenogre@yahoo.com or Icollectpoodles@gmail.com.”

Those are the things I always notice about goodbye emails but I am sure there are a few ideas I missed

Thanks for making these four years so great

Jon

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