SCL

(I’m sorting through dozens of awesome guest posts right now. One that came my way is from Michael Kelly. You might remember him from the prosperity gospel post. He writes great stuff and this is proof of that. Enjoy.)

Perhaps you’ve been in an awkward situation like this one. You are leaving a conversation about Lady GaGa and Skittles. It was an enjoyable time, and you felt like you held your own nicely. People appreciated your wit and cultural relevance. But though you are adept in conversations like these, you find yourself totally lost in the atrium of the church lobby.

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(Curtis Honeycutt is ridiculous. Every now and then he emails me the funniest things. I love the countless guest posts he has done on SCL and hope you dig this one too.)

So You Think You Can Ush?

Are you qualified to be an usher? No, not the Usher. Those qualifications include: Is your outfit ridiculous? Are you in the club lookin’ so conspicuous? Do you refer to Hotlanta as “A-Town”? If so, you might be qualified to be Usher. If you’re wondering more about becoming an usher at church, read on.

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(“Start thinking you’re a big deal.” That’s the answer most leaders give me when I ask them how leaders wreck their ministries. Ego, pride, thinking you’ve got mad skillz with a z not an s, that’s what happens. Which is why I will always welcome guest posts that poke fun at me and the Stuff Christians Like book. It’s a great way to not take everything so seriously. It’s also a great way to laugh, especially since today’s guest post created 4 new SCL based spin off sites. Seriously, 4 new sites. Ridiculous. Long live the Chad Gibbs guest post.)

I was afraid this would happen. Jon Acuff wrote a book, and everyone loves it. Wait, that’s not what I was afraid of. Jon’s a funny guy, and a good writer, and I’m happy for him, in a ‘I wish it were me’ sort of way. But what I was afraid of, and what has already come to pass, is that some of you are starting to take this book a little too seriously.

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(Ben Meredith is no stranger to the guest post. It is not something he avoids, like door to door witnessing. Which lots of people avoid like the plague, constantly finding reasons not to attend outreach events. In this post Ben muses that we treat door to door witnessing like some strange avian-swine disease. Enjoy.)

I never even saw it coming until it was too late.

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(I’ve actually met Bryan. Most of my blog friends haven’t become 3D yet. We’ve tweeted and what not but never really hung out. But Bryan is the exception. We sat at the Catalyst Conference together and then pretended we belonged to be backstage.)

Some people love to rave about their favorite TV show. (LOST and it’s not even close.)

Some people love to rave about their favorite mirror. (I swear I look like the love child of Jude Law and Brad Pitt in the downstairs men’s room at church.)

And some people love to rave about their favorite band.

That’s me. The favorite band guy.

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(I’ve never met Lyndsay Rush, but I have to confess I am a big fan of her motto, “No cheese left behind.” As a fan of queso, that is a motto I can get on board with. I can also get on board with her tale of having her life edited by her parents, something I’ve said my in-laws were pros at. I hope you dig it. I did.)

I’d like to start this post with a simple, three question test. Please answer honestly.

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(John Crist’s first guest post, Tangible Sermon Reminders, was one of the best posts of March. Now he’s back with a subject I promise I didn’t suggest. And because it’s in the classic scorecard format, I couldn’t resist posting it the same week we did the American Idol guest post. Enjoy.)

Using the Stuff Christian Like Book as a Morning Devotional

Let’s be honest…with the book released two weeks ago, we’re all dying to know…Does reading Stuff Christians Like count as acceptable reading for morning devotions?

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(A few months ago, Michael Kelly did the near impossible. He wrote a post about the prosperity ministry without causing a street fight. Seriously, it was a thing of beauty. You should read it right here. And today, he’s back with another great post. Enjoy.)

Do you find yourself in a church where the job titles are too self-explanatory? Are you bored with the common language of “pastor” and “music minister”? Do you want to move into the future of mystic and important sounding job titles that no one understands? Welcome, then, to your Stuff Christians Like primer for how to construct a job title that will sound very important and yet be ambiguous enough that no one can really pin down what the job’s responsibilities are.

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(John Crist, you fantastic, completely unexpected guest poster. This showed up in my email one day, and I thought it was very true and very funny. I hope you do too.)

For those of us that have been to a Christian conference, retreat or youth camp in the last decade, we know the power of the Tangible Sermon Reminder. The TSR usually occurs when multiple speakers are up against each other, all vying for your inordinately short attention span and space in your pre-worn journal. We’ve all been victim of the TSR and it usually takes the form of a small, post-sermon giveaway that is meant to drive home the sermons’ main point.

As Christians, we don’t remember any of the sermons we’ve heard in the last ten years but I ALWAYS remember the TSRs.

Traditionally, the TSR comes in many forms. It can be as simple as a small cross or as complex as a bracelet with six different colored beads on it, all representing a different stage of the roman road.

But with TSR competition heating up in the last several years, Christian conference speakers have taken TSR use to new heights. It usually happens after the closing prayer (any earlier and the speaker could risk loosing the attention of the audience) and it typically comes in the form of a small trinket or memento. Before you’re inspired to change your life as a result of this gift, keep in mind that it was purchased with your tithe.

Now, everyone please look under your chair and find out the three most common TSR’s of 2009.

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(Hooray, a female preacher’s kid has checked in. For years I have been writing very guy slanted pastor kid tales of woe. But thanks to Janna and this guest post, the ladies are about to have their time in the sun. And I’ve got another great guest post from a female pastor’s kid coming in a few weeks, enjoy.)

Nearly everyone knows Dusty Springfield’s hit, “Son of A Preacher Man,” but the song that speaks a bit more personally to me is called “Preacher’s Daughter,” by a little band known as The Refreshments. I first heard the song when my husband put it on a mix CD he made me when we were still dating. I liked it because it was loud and rocky, and the idea of some guy falling for a girl before he knew “the lady was a preacher’s daughter,” was a notion I could appreciate. In fact, more than once during my high school career, I wished for that same thing to happen to me.

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