This is how I imagine most job interviews going between a church search committee and a potential youth minister:
Search committee member
“Well, so far everything checks out. Your beliefs are the same as ours, you’re smart and the kids seemed to really like you. But there’s something missing.”
Potential youth minister
“Do you need more references? I could get more references.”
Search committee member
“No, I’m going to cut to the chase. It’s your chin. It’s just so bald and boring. The kids in this community need a youth minister with a bit of an edge. Someone that understands them. Someone that speaks their language with the “phat” and the “twittering” and the “i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie, to the hip hip hop, a you don’t stop, the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie.” They need someone relevant and now. Someone … with a goatee.”
Potential youth minister
“I’ll start growing one today.”
Search committee member
“Hired!”
That’s probably not exactly how it happens but the magazine Christianity Today did a survey and 72% of youth ministers in America have goatees. OK, I made that up but it sounded true because chances are yours had one. I don’t think there is any great follicle conspiracy at hand, I just think it’s a really easy way to tell the senior minister and the youth minister apart. Unless your senior minister has one too and in that case you might be going to a church with a name that starts with a lower case “x” or “i” (xPerience, xTra, xTraordinary, iNtouch, iChapel, iSaved etc.) and at that point all bets are off.
p.s. I would grow a goatee if I could. But unfortunately all I can swing are some Ebeneezer Scrooge type mutton chops. And roughly 19 people on the planet find those attractive and 100% of them are not named “my wife.”
(Thanks to all the folks that suggested this one.)
