Sometimes Pastors will execute what I call the “double sermon.” You might know this as the “encore sermon” or the “I am so hungry sermon.” There are really just two primary causes for this event, either the Pastor planned for a really long message beforehand or he feels led to keep going long after the message reached the original conclusion.
I am fine with the double sermon. This isn’t a criticism so much as a warning guide for people new to church. If you can learn these four signs, you will be never be caught off guard by a double sermon These are the four warning signs you need to know, because knowing is half the battle:
1. Fear the word “today.”
If a Pastor says “Today I’m going to talk about” twenty minutes after he’s started talking, then you are in trouble. What he is saying is essentially, “those first 20 minutes were just lead up for something that hasn’t even happened yet.” When I hear that, I want to cry out. “No, don’t say ‘today’ or ‘in a few minutes we’ll talk about ____.'” Let’s live in the now. Tell me what you want to tell me. Let’s leave the future out of this.
2. The “preview.”
There’s a reason that when you go see the movie “Iron Man” they don’t show you the trailer for the movie “Iron Man” before it begins. You’re already there. You’re ready for the movie, there’s no need to preview it. But sometimes Pastors will say things like, “this is just a brief look at what we’re going to dive into” or “read the first verse, we’ll read the rest as we proceed.” A 30 minute sermon is too short to need a preview though. I’m already with you. You’ve got me. Let’s get to the core.
3. The promise of brevity.
A few weeks ago I spoke to a men’s group. I told them I had a simple Bible verse, with only 9 words in it to speak about. As soon as I said that, an old man in the back groaned. When I asked him why later, he said, “Whenever a minister tells me he has a simple point or there’s only a few words to listen to, I know he’s going to preach for about a year.” He’s right. Sometimes when Pastors know they’re going to flow for a while, they’ll try to convince you it’s actually a short message.
4. The touchdown dance.
This one usually happens after you’ve had a guest speaker at your church. He or she has just spoken and your Pastor gets up under the assumption that there’s about to be a short prayer to send you home. But instead, he launches into his own sermon, like some sort of dueling sermon competition. It’s as if the guest speaker just scored a touchdown and your regular Pastor ran off the bench to join in the touchdown dance.
As with any list I create on this site, this is grossly incomplete. Your Pastor probably has unique ways to sneak in a double sermon. Fortunately, most service times these days don’t allow the Pastor to speak too long because the next crowd is waiting on the heels of the first one. Unless you’re attending the last service of the day. Be very careful about attending the last service of the day. It’s like the elephant graveyard of double sermons. They flock there. I promise.
Update: The comments for this post so far have been hilarious. Thanks once again for forcing me to raise my game with such funny responses. Love it.
(Thanks Joan for the idea.)
