I spent the last few days at the GEL Conference (Good Experience Live) in New York. It’s a two day event aimed at teaching you how to create good experiences for people. One of the speakers was a doctor named Bridgett Duffy. She is the Chief Experience Officer of the Cleveland Clinic and she focused on doctor empathy.
Apparently, medical students have more empathy for patients when they start medical school then when they finish. According to the statistics, they actually lose empathy during their time at medical school. Bridgett Duffy said the reason isn’t the classes, or the stress or anything else. The reason they lose empathy is that during their internship they encounter old, grumpy doctors. And Duffy says, the young students have the empathy “beaten out of them.”
The thing that struck me is that in some ways, this happens in churches too.
Have you ever seen this conversation happen?
New Christian:
“I’m just so excited about what God is doing in my life. He’s just so big and amazing. I want to tell everyone I care about how I feel about him.”
Old Christian:
“I remember when I first became a Christian I felt like that too.“
It’s subtle. Maybe it’s not as obvious as a veteran doctor yelling at a young doctor, but it’s there. Because when someone says “I remember how it use to be” when it comes to Christianity, that’s not what is heard. What new Christians hear is, “You’re on fire right now. I used to be on fire too. You’ll cool off.”
That’s such a pop the balloon and let all the air out thing to do. And I know I’ve done it to people in the past, especially as a pastor’s kid. They often say cop’s kids get into trouble because they’re immune to the laws. They are around the laws that govern us so much that they lose their importance and strength. They in essence get used to them.
I think that’s what happens to Christians. We are God’s kids and we get used to God and church and worship and all the things that feel so magical and weird when you first discover them. We get immune to the power of God and try to bring other Christians down to our level. I think there have been times when out of jealousy, I have said “that will fade” to new Christians. I wanted to feel that again, to know God was big and out of my control, just like they knew.
Like most things on this site, I don’t have a solution to this issue, other than “let’s not do this anymore.” Let’s just stop being jerks to new Christians. I promise I’ll try.
