At the end of the day, this site is really like one big public service announcement. It’s like at the end of a GI Joe cartoon when Hawk or Duke would tell kids not to play with matches and then say that “knowing is half the battle.” Or like when Matthew Perry got hooked on drugs and had to do NBC commercials warning fans of the show Friends about the dangers of narcotics. Sure you might laugh a little, maybe chuckle, have a yuk or dare I say a guffaw, but I’m here to provide a service. To shed light on some serious issues that are plaguing Christianity. The one I would like to address today, the one that is about to attack millions of high school seniors is simple, I want to talk about Christian graduation gifts.
This is risky on my part. The cartel of people that print Bible verses on things like Frisbees and coffee mugs is powerful. They fly around in black helicopters and have trained attack doves that fight heathens like me. But I have to be strong. This is for the children, whom I believe are the future.
This May, let’s all commit that we won’t buy our graduating seniors mediocre gifts. Let’s not get them post it notes that say thing like, “I’m writing on this but God’s word is written on my heart.” Let’s not make them unwrap rulers at graduation parties that say “God is the ruler of my life.” Let’s not get them a six pack of those tiny books that inevitably are composed of CS Lewis and Oswald Chambers quotes.
Let’s give them money. And Blue Like Jazz and Nouwen’s “Return of the Prodigal Son” and the movie “Man on Fire” and an official 175 gram Frisbee. Let’s give them the kind of stuff we’d like to get, which I think might be the golden rule. Hey, this ended up being spiritual after all.