I’ve told you before about my friend that injured his knee goofing around at a youth group retreat. He was holding on to the side mirror of the youth group leader’s pick up truck, sliding along on the New Hampshire snow when my leader brushed him off against a tree as a joke. He fell and got hit by the pickup truck with all our luggage in it. Although his injury was eventually minor, I will never forget that first moment when he was on the ground screaming and cursing in pain. One of the youth leaders leaned over him and said, “Sean, language!”
That is my favorite example when it comes to showing how we Christians sometimes hone in on the issue instead of the individual. For that youth leader, the idea of Sean swearing was more important than the pain he was physically in. The person did not matter as much as the issue.
I think we all know the phrase, “love the sinner, hate the sin,” but I think one that is just as important is, “love the person, not the issue.” I think so often we fail at that one.
I was reminded of that yesterday when I posted about a church using the word “ballsy” in a billboard. Some of the online response to that billboard was negative. My site was fine, but some other sites had long, heated debates about the use of that word. The biggest point made, which someone also commented about on this blog, was that the billboard was located where lots of kids could see it.
Honestly, I don’t want my kids saying the word “ballsy.” I think it’s kind of crass and not something a kid should say. (But I wouldn’t want them using some words I use, like “sucktacular,” so I can’t pretend I get this one right.) I think the person that commented on my site made some good points. I think though that arguing sometimes about words like ballsy or other issues, can make us forget the people that are involved. The issue can sometimes cloud up our vision and we forget to love the person first, which is ultimately what Christ called us to do. (Love God, love others, love yourself. Matthew 22: 36-40)
That’s why I am inventing the “Love First” machine.
It will be pretty simple. I imagine it looking like that machine in the Tom Hanks movie, Big. (I love that movie. “Down down baby, down by the roller coaster, sweet sweet baby sweet sweet I love you so , jimmy jimmy coco puff jimmy jimmy rye…”) You put a quarter in and then you type out your issue. For example, you might type, “My issue is that a church used the word ‘ballsy’ in a billboard and I am really angry that children are going to see it.”
The machine would whirl and hiss and then a slip of paper would pop out. It would read:
“Children? Four hours away from this billboard in Charlotte, is Atlanta, one of, if not the, worst cities in America for child sex trafficking. Volunteer there and save lives. Love first.”
And then you’d take your piece of paper and think, “Wow, I had no idea Atlanta was like that. Protesting the word ‘ballsy’ is going to have to wait. I have some slaves to free.”
Now I agree, that’s an extreme example and one that is maybe far fetched. The idea of relating concern over vulgarity to slave trading is a huge leap. Fair enough, let me use a more reasonable example and a confession from my own life.
I was unkind to a widow.
There’s a widow in our neighborhood, in her 50s, that lets her dog use the bathroom in our yard. My two young kids were unable to play in parts of the yard because of her dog. So I wrote her a note. And then a second note. And then a third note. These were not loving notes. These were not Christ-like. Was I wrong? I don’t think so. What she was doing, opening the door and letting her dog just run out for five minutes as if what he was doing was just magically disappearing and not in fact being put in someone’s yard, is not cool. But I promise I could have loved her better. I could have done a much better job showing her God’s love. Here is what I think the “Love First” machine would have told me to do on that slip of paper:
“Dog issues? Go to her house and volunteer to walk the dog when she gets home from work. Your children will love it and it’s a great way to see if you could handle one of your own. That dog was her husband’s, who is no longer alive. She is overwhelmed by taking care of it and will welcome your compassion, which will show her God’s face.”
I’m not recommending we stop caring about issues. I think we need to, passionately so. And if getting upset about swearing is your thing, that’s cool with me. There are certainly lots of verses that deal with that in the Bible and I think you have every right to protect the content people push on your kids. I respect that you are loving your children by protecting them from filth. I think that is beautiful. That’s not what I am arguing against. In fact, there is nothing I am against in this post. There is however something I am for, and that’s more love. And not just more love, but love first. I have a really simple faith and when Jesus says something is the greatest and the second greatest commandment, I’ll do whatever it takes to live that out. Even if it means building a “Love First” machine.
