A little while ago, I started compiling the official Stuff Christians Like dictionary. I found that new readers needed to know that on SCL, giving someone a “Leg Drop for the Lord” was actually a sign of love and fellowship. So every Friday, I plan on adding a few. Here are this week’s four new entries:
Putting a God Spin on Popular Secular Ideas.
God Flavor is what you sprinkle on popular secular songs or ideas when you want to make them feel Christian. Want to hear some U2 on Christian radio? Sprinkle a little God Flavor on the songs and have a Christian band cover it. Like the Got Milk campaign but wish it was about sweet baby Jesus? A dash of God Flavor and you’ll be all set. Got Jesus, Got Destiny, Got God, Got Faith, here we come.
“With the right amount of God Flavor I think we could do a skit based on the television show, ‘The Office. ‘”
Highly Specialized Bibles.
This is the name of the Bible I will release if I publish a book and become a Christian Thousandaire. It will be wrapped in rich, purple velvet and feature an illustrated version of the Song of Solomon.
“I got a copy of the new Purple Rain bible from Stuff Christians Like. I heard that guy Jon has a Bentley. Just kidding, he has a moped.”
The “everyone is on vacation, anything goes,” church service.
A Skittle Throw is a subtle technique to keep an audience that is attending church the day before a holiday on point. You basically just hit members of the congregation in the side of the head with skittles. The specific flavor does matter although original is preferred. This is a classic move to pull on July 3 in the United States for instance.
“A pastor named Chris did a Skittle Throw right before Memorial Day and became an SCL legend.”
Saying “I was just flipping channels” when you watch something you shouldn’t.
In olden days, miners would keep a canary in the mine shaft with them. If the bird died, they knew the air quality was not good. A verbal canary is where you casually throw out an idea to see if anyone else agrees with you. For instance, you say, “Have you seen that show ‘Family Guy?'” If someone responds by saying, “Yeah, I love it,” you say, “me too!” If they say, “I hate that show,” you say, “I hate it too, it’s so profane.”
“I threw out a verbal canary and she killed it. I swear, she killed it instantly. So I guess we won’t be going to the Lil’ Wayne concert.”