I love Christian conferences. I went to Catalyst last year, attended a bunch growing up and was asked to speak at Ministrycom this year in Oklahoma. But as much as I love conferences, I realized recently that conferences are the Christian adult prom.
See, there are two sentences in that paragraph that probably don’t make sense at first. Me, speaking at a church conference? I know what you’re thinking, am I going to walk out to a rap song (Big Daddy Kane’s “I get the job done”) and will I throw skittles into the crowd? The answer is yes.
The second sentence that was a little baffling, was the one in which I called conferences the “Christian adult prom.” I admit, that’s a little weird but let’s look at it. (And for my international readers, I love you Ireland, the prom is a big formal dance at the end of high school for teenagers.)
The Transportation:
Prom
You rent a vehicle you never usually ride in, like a limo, and just have a good time. It’s like a road trip, with you and your friends being silly singing along to Miley Cyrus and Lil’ Wayne as you make your way to the prom.
Christian Conference
You borrow a vehicle you never usually ride in, like the church van, and just have a good time. It’s like a road trip, with you and your friends being silly singing along to Chris Tomlin and Carman as you make your way to the conference.
The Clothes:
Prom
It’s dress up time. You get a big, crazy dress with loads of cool little details that say I have arrived! If you’re a guy you rent a tuxedo and try to act cool like you wear cummerbunds all the time. You even get your hair done and it looks big and beautiful.
Christian Conference
It’s dress up time. You get a big, crazy pants suit with loads of cool little details that say I have arrived! If you’re a guy you buy a hip shirt with those cowboy buttons and intricate little stitching or maybe a graphic t-shirt and try to act cool like you wear a Castro style hat all the time. You even get your hair done and it looks like a faux hawk.
The Date:
Prom
Ohhhh, we are so nervous. Will that girl say yes when we ask her to come to the prom? Will it change our relationship? Will being there together and hearing how romantic the music Extreme plays change the way we function? So many questions! So exciting! (Yes, that was a “More than words” reference.)
Christian Conference
Ohhhh, we are so nervous. Will the worship minister say yes when we ask him to come to the conference? Will it change the relationship? Will being there together and hearing how fast and upbeat the music Casting Crowns plays change the way our worship functions at church? So many questions! So exciting!
I could go on and on. We slow danced at the prom to “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. You’ll fast dance at the conference to “We shine” by Steve Fee. It’s such a delightful game it almost feels like a Friday.
Am I wrong? I hope not, but regardless, if we run into each other at a conference, please know I won’t ask you to slow dance but you should probably expect a side hug.
