Do you ever imagine how God spends His day? I do, but then I’m weird. I like to think He gets up early, shoots a round of Frisbee golf with David (the whole sling thing makes him pretty good), grabs breakfast at the Heaven Denny’s with C.S. Lewis and then spends the rest of the day building waterslide parks for my eventual arrival. But apparently, I’m wrong. Apparently God spends a good deal of His day writing billboards.
Have you seen these? I’m not sure if they are international or not, but here in the states (I said “states” to make me look cool) we have a God billboard campaign. They’re pithy little messages attributed to God that say things like, “I miss how you used to talk to me when you were a kid” and “Don’t make me come down there.”
I like them. I think it’s good to step outside what we usually do and I love the God billboards compared to say the “Got Jesus” or “Got Destiny” milk-flavored billboards. But because it’s Monday and early in the morning, I thought it might be fun to write our own versions. You crushed the sound guy haikus, so hopefully we can come up with some good ones. Here are mine:
1. “Hell has saber-toothed tigers. I’m just saying.” – God
2. “I deserve a producer’s credit for inspiring the Matrix move. (I had nothing to do with parts 2 and 3)” – God
3. “Would it kill you to have just one ‘pop and lock breakdance Sunday?'” – God
4. “It’s ‘all’ not ‘some’ when it comes to loving people.” – God
5. “I saw what you did. I see what you are doing. I know what you will do. And I love you.” – God.
6. “I got name dropped 26 times at the last Grammy Awards, that’s a new record.” – God
7. “David committed adultery with Bathsheba, killed her husband, let a war start that killed tens of thousands out of sin and I forgave him. What was it you were worried about?” – God
8. “I will never give you the answer. I will always be the answer.” – God
9. “Please pronounce the ‘t’ in ‘How Great is our God. It sounds like you’re saying ‘gray.'” – God
10. “Prince ain’t got nothing on me. I invented sex.” – God
Those are my ten. I would love to see you post a few. I think it will make Monday a lot more awesome.
Some other stuff I wrote today:
1. That’s pretend, right? – A child-sized nuclear bomb gets dropped on me.
2. Important – The greatest risk you face today.