I don’t have a fancy ring tone. To tell you the truth, I am always a little confused when I see a commercial that says “text 78987 to get your free ring tone.” I know that’s possible, I mean from a technological point of view I get that, but it also kind of feels like voodoo to me. I type in a number and then a few seconds later when my phone rings it plays the first verse of Run DMC’s song “It’s Tricky?” That makes me feel old.
But I do like when people add a spiritual element to their ring tone. I like when you’re hanging out with someone and all the sudden their phone rings and starts blaring out “Amazing Grace.”
And it seems like a lot of people are starting to sell those ring tones. I think Lil’ Wayne has made a million off the ring tone for his song “Lollipop.” Since I do not subscribe to the theory that mo’ money equals mo’ problems, and would in fact like mo’ money, I thought maybe I should create my own ring tones. Some that are holy, some that are based on this site. Just for fun. And massive profit, but also fun.
Some new ring tones:
1. (Sung to Handel’s “Hallelujah”) “I … am God’s favorite. I … am God’s favorite. God’s favorite. God’s favorite. Faaavvvorite.”
2. “I’m about to answer this phone, but I would rather be reading the Bible. I am about to answer this phone, but I would rather be reading the Bible.”
3. “Leg drops, side hugs, worship eagles too. I read Stuff Christians Like, how bout’ you?”
4. (Sung to Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida.”) “For some reason I can’t explain, I got dumped after a retreat again. She said she did it because of God, but that was the last I believed that girl.”
5. “What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do? He’d answer the phone. Answer the phone. Answer the phone.”
6. “Freeeedddoommmmm!!!!”
7. “I can only imagine, if I missed this call. Would they call again? Or maybe not all? I can only imagine how it would be, if another worship leader was more metro than me.”
8. (In tribute to the guy that yells at every Christian concert.) “Jessssuuussss!!!
Those are a few of my ringtone ideas but if the billboard post was any indication, you probably have a few of your own. And chances are, they’re even funnier.
