Cue one of the band Europe’s top five songs, “Final Countdown,” because it’s that time. This month I turn in the manuscript for Stuff Christians Like to Zondervan. (This is a picture of it on my kitchen table.) I feel good about it but in order to feel great about it I need to spend the next 12 days locked in a steel cage match with the book and all the things that come along with creating a book. (I’ll still be kicking around the comments section on SCL and updating facebook and twitter and all that.) So I’m going to do a countdown of my 11 favorite posts from this site. No editing, no remix, just straight from the annals of the site. My hope is that this will give me some time to jam pack as much awesome into the book as possible and that we’ll all be able to take a trip down irony’s lane. Expect an exuberant, turned in my book Jon back on March 31st.
So I guess like Alan Thicke would have said, take it away Kirk Cameron:
Favorite Post #11 – Kirk Cameron
Have you ever thought what it would be like if Kirk Cameron and Bono got into a street fight to see who is the best famous Christian? Just a no holds barred, anything goes donnybrook? No? It’s just me then, huh? Well here is what I think it would look like:
Kirk Cameron:
“Look Bono, even before I became really well known for my Christianity I was providing nice, appropriate laughter to millions of people on the hit show, ‘Growing Pains.'”
Bono:
“Was that the one with Tony Danza? I get those all confused. Well, while you were making sitcoms that paved the way for ‘Two and a Half Men,’ I was touring the world singing songs with hidden Christian meaning to millions of people.”
Kirk Cameron:
“Fair enough, but I work with a powerful ministry called ‘the way of the master.’ Not only do we have an official crest and a series called “Hell’s best kept secret,” but my partner has a mustache and everyone knows there is something inherently spiritual about mustachioed men.”
Bono:
“Ha, that is hilarious. I touched more hearts than you’ll ever reach with my Super Bowl performance after 9/11 and I’ve allowed Christian musicians to cover my music for years. I didn’t even gripe when my songs were covered and suddenly deemed acceptable for Christian radio just because a Christian band was doing them. And don’t forget my work in Africa.”
Kirk Cameron:
“Oh please, you have a guy named “edge’ in your band. Who changes their name to ‘edge?’ And didn’t you swear at the Grammy’s one year?”
Bono:
“Whoa, low blow, Mike Seaver, low blow. Don’t you have a photo shoot you need to be doing with the Jonas Brothers for the magazine Tiger Beat?”
Stephen Baldwin:
“Guys, there’s no need to fight. I’m the best famous Christian.”
Bono:
“Bio-Dome’s Stephen Baldwin, what are you doing here?”
Stephen Baldwin:
“I have a skate ministry and since Stuff Christians Like refuses to give me my own entry I had to crash your entry.”
Kirk Cameron:
“None of this matters. I’ve just been toying with the both of you?”
Stephen Baldwin:
“Why do you say that?”
Kirk Cameron:
“Simple, I was in the movie version of ‘Left Behind.'”
Bono:
“You win.”
Stephen Baldwin:
“Thanks for having me. Good game. Jon give me a call. I’ll give you a free Rob Roskopp old school skateboard.”
You’ve never honestly had that scenario in your head while you’re pumping gas or mowing the lawn? Not even a little bit?
I am weird.
p.s. Bono’s confession of faith with Bill Hybels was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. That’s how I took it, but I think some other people can make some interesting arguments in the opposite direction.
