Whenever my wife and I try to talk about our future, we both end up throwing different cards on the table almost immediately. I’m a big fan of the “G card” (God) and she’s a big fan of the “D card” (Dad). Here’s how a typical conversation about our future breaks down in about 30 seconds:
ME: “I’d like to think about maybe moving or doing something else. I’m not sure if I’m where I’m supposed to be or doing what I’m supposed to be doing.”
HER: (Fearing I’m on the verge of suggesting some crazy, non health care-having adventure like making the family join the carnival for the Lord) “Maybe you’re where you are so that we’ll have a steady income. Why can’t being a good dad be what you’re supposed to be doing?”
ME: (Sensing that I can’t follow my dreams and be a good dad at the same time) “I’m just trying to do what God is calling me to do.”
Boo-yah! The God card always trumps the Dad card because in essence, by getting God into the mix, I’ve said to her, “Are you saying you want to stand in the way of the Almighty, the Great I Am, Jehovah, the Holy Lord? Is that what this is about?”It’s an almost flawless card to throw.
The only way to counteract it is to reply, “Well, that’s not what I’m hearing from God right now.” You in essence snatch the G card off the table and throw it back down. I think technically it’s the “G squared card” at that point, but I’m not sure.
It’s not even really my favorite card anymore though. It used to be, but lately I’ve started hearing pastors throw the Bible card like it was going out of style. In the middle of a sermon, they’ll make some claim like, “You can’t love money and love God.” Sensing that the affluent crowd might have winced a little and thought, “Yeah, but can you love a Range Rover and God at the same time?” the pastor will say, “I’m not trying to be argumentative; I’m just telling you what Jesus says in the Bible.”
I love that. On the one hand it’s such a succinct way to shut down complainers, and on the other, it’s a great way to motivate people. A pastor I know mentioned how he loves when people disagree with him after a B card throw-down because it inspires them to get into the Bible.
“Oh no, he didn’t just say that. I’m going to look that up, prove him wrong and throw the B card back at him on stage next week. Security will probably escort me out, but I’ll be throwing out B cards like an octopus as they drag me to the exit.” (Flipping Bible pages when he gets home that Sunday afternoon.) “Huh, what’s this? That verse he quoted is in the Bible? He was right? Weird.”
