We’re supposed to forgive people.
That’s in the Bible somewhere. I know it is. I mean Jesus says at one point that you should forgive people 7 times 70. As a writer I’m not the greatest at math but even I know that calculates out to about 2,900 times. And forgiving people is great, but sometimes it’s funny too. Particularly when we let people know that we’ve forgiven them even though they haven’t apologized or asked us to.
Me:
“Hey, can we talk for a minute? I know things have been kind of awkward between us lately and our friendship is strained a little, but I want to be honest with you today. I want you to know that I forgive you.”
Friend:
“Forgive me? For what?”
Me:
“I’d rather not go into the details and reopen the wound, but that thing you did to me a few weeks ago. I forgive you for that. It’s important to me that you know I have erased that debt in my heart.”
Friend:
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Did I do something?”
Me:
“I’m a Christian and I’m called to forgive people and love my enemies. So even though it still stings a little, I want you to know we’re cool now.”
Friend:
“Wait a second, we’re enemies? Whoa. When did that happen?”
Me:
“Stop, just stop. Just know that I forgive you. Someday maybe you’ll understand. Come here, let’s hug it out.”
Friend:
“Don’t touch me.”
Me:
“I forgive that too. You can keep pushing me away, but I’m just going to keep loving on you.”
Friend:
“You know that’s not really a verb.”
Me:
“Just let me pour out my forgiveness and put a hedge of protection around our friendship.
Friend:
“You are so weird.”
Me:
“And you are so forgiven.”
That’s probably never happened to you, but I’ve been on the receiving end of that before. And it’s a baffling, confusing, eventually humorous experience. But make no mistake, it’s not forgiveness, it’s soft revenge. And rarely do you feel “loved on” in that moment.
Has someone ever forgiven you for something you didn’t apologize for?
Have you ever done that to someone? (It’s OK if you have. I forgive you.)
