About 6 weeks ago I wrote a post called “The 11 people every youth group needs.” My dad is starting a church and I hoped it would be kind of a “how to” kit of clichés that every youth group should have. I ended the post by saying, “What youth group stereotype did I forget?”
The comments you left were great. As I have long suspected and proclaimed, the readers of this site are hilarious. So today I thought I would just get out of the way and post what I thought were the funniest youth group kids I forgot to mention.
In what may be the largest guest post ever on Stuff Christians Like, I give you:
8 other people every youth group needs:
1. The Drummer
He’s definitely in the marching band, and he’s definitely ADD. everything around him becomes a drum, and when the youth praise team recruits him, suddenly all the songs are double-time. worship has never been so efficient. By Rachel
2. The Athletic Brothers
The two boys who have to be separated whenever there are sporting activities so that they cannot dominate the rest of the group (bonus points if they’re twins).
By Regular Joes
3. The Clutz
He/she will get injured at every event usually due to their own actions; he is the reason there are waiver forms and why you can’t go back to certain amusement parks. By Regular Joes
4. The dwarves
STINKY- true stench, but says “I don’t care” you finally respond “I do care & next time I’m taking you home & can come back when you don’t stink. It is a dirty job but someone has to do it.
BUMPY- just don’t understand when you make them cover up their breast, butt, or underwear. Indignant when they tell you, my momma bought this for me. You do not discuss momma but let them know your standards are different and provide a t-shirt or belt. They will fight for the right to expose themselves in public, you must win and teach them modesty.
DOPEY- you know he uses drugs & probably sells them. You find a way to discretely firmly tell him “you do anything here you will be arrested”. Then treat him like everyone else. Be careful and see if this may be a SLEEZY.
SLEEZY- this teen is the predator, important to discover him and beat him off his prey before it is too late. To protect others you have to close the door to him. He is charming, a magnet, talented but deadly. Many others have closed that door also. The last door will be a cell door or coffin door. You pray there is someone that can save them before it is too late. When they truly repent (not lie about it) they will turn the world upside down.
NEEDY- this teen is so needy that they are prey to SLEEZY. They will do anything to be noticed or loved, they will lie, steal, do anything perverted to appease their predator. They are annoying, clingy or aloof but it is volatile, and almost futile.
HURTY- this person cannot handle the pain they are in so they cut themselves or wrecklessly try to hurt themselves (more than the usual bumps or bruises.) This teen is on a path of destruction and uses anything to mask that pain with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or sex. You pray, try to direct them and cry for them.
GRUMPY- this teen takes a lot of patience; they want everyone to know how miserable they are. You hug, love them and listen b/c their pain and their life is more horrendous than you ever could believe. You pray they change before they slip into Hurty.
THINKY- they want everyone know how smart they are by correcting and disagreeing, and letting you know they are smarter than you. You resist the temptation to beat them repeatedly about the head and shoulders and try to teach them humility.
WINNY: they will meet any challenge they are over competitive will win at all costs. They are the 1st to raise their hand and volunteer for anything. You want to be on their team.
HAPPY- the kid that has horrible parents, horrible sibling but decides to put a smile on their face & do their very best.
WHIMPY: has no confidence, has been babied, not made to do anything. Lots of encouragement and ignore their whines and don’t let them whimp out. They are so unsure of themselves but there is a breakthrough when they meet a challenge. If allowed will gripe about everything and say i’m bored, must be challenged.
WHINNY- produce tears, scream, whine anything to get the other person in trouble, they are the victim. Some have learned this is the way to get their way, (must let them know it won’t work with you)
SQUEEZY- this teen wants to hug all over everyone, but it’s not that nice innocent hug. You respond with get off them! They respond as the victim that :wasn’t doin nuthin wrong”, don’t believe them. Refrain from calling them “you little pervert”.
DIPPY- this teen can always make you laugh; can use anything as a prop, just naturally funny. Surround yourself with them you need them.
You love all of them.
5. The Project Kid
Everyone assumes that this kids is not a Christian because he wears Metallica t-shirts, has long hair, and doesn’t talk much. The rest of the group prays over him frequently, and everybody wants to be the one that leads him to Jesus. He never tells anyone that he loves GOD because he finds the attention amusing. By Nic
6. The Mother Hen
What about the mother hen? The girl who may or may not be olderthan her peers, but somehow is always taking care of everyone else? She is there with a plate of freshly-baked cookies, always has a listening ear, sets up and takes down for every event, but rarely participates because she is too busy in the prayer room or waiting to help someone out? At weddings, she is the girl helping the bride pee by holding the train of the gown.
She can usually be found hanging with the adult leaders or the youth pastor. This is your go-to girl, spiritual cheerleader of sorts. This is the girl you ask to pray for you and dump on, but refuse to acknowledge outside of yg sponsored events. By Anon
7. The Gigglers
I distinctly remember the gigglers. Normally a group of 2 to 3 girls who are very pretty (but unlike Kim, they know they are pretty and work hard at it) and spend much of their time huddled together whispering, pointing at the acoustic guy, and giggling. They are also the go to group when you want someone to suggest a car wash as a fundraiser. By Snowberrylife
8. The kid with an endless supply of prayer requests
Always has an aunt, sister, neighbor, cousin, friend, in the hospital, dying, out-of-work, pregnant, going on a mission trip… Enjoys playing “My Prayer Request is Much More Serious & Urgent Than Yours.” You can tell he’s running out of requests and feeling desperate when he offers up people from the local and national news as prayer requests. “I really think we need to pray for Matsuzaka. He just got taken out of the lineup and they think there might be something wrong with him physically and well, I don’t think he’s a Christian, so….” If this kid is in your small group prayer time after large group, pick a comfortable chair. You’ll be there for awhile. By Snoodlings