The other day, my wife and I were walking around the mall. One of the stores had a big display for jeggings. What are those? Well, imagine if a pair of jeans and a pair of leggings got married, listened to a lot of 80s band “Color Me Badd” and then had a baby. That baby would be named “Jeggings.”
I told my wife, “Oh jeez, jeggings. Please don’t ever get those.”
She looked at me, and immediately said, “Jeggings? I’m wearing those right now.”
Foot in mouth.
That is something I do pretty regularly, so my wife is used to it. But I stand by my assessment that jeggings are a little ridiculous. I feel like they should be sold at the “Chess King,” a store that used to specialize in Z-Cavariccis. (It’s 80s reference day, apparently.)
I don’t hate jeggings, I’m actually a pretty ardent fan of the ridiculous and I recently discovered something else I think is kind of silly. While listening to some Christmas music, I heard what I call a “God Cameo.” Like lil’ Wayne sitting in on a song for a verse, suddenly in the middle of a Christmas song, God popped in.
Was it a song about the reason for the season? Was it a song about keeping Christ in Christmas? Not exactly. The song was “Here comes Santa Claus.”
In the middle of the song, it says, “Santa Claus knows we’re all God’s children.” OK, makes sense. I’m led to believe that Santa Claus knows a lot about a lot of things. What with the quantum physics in involved with flying reindeer and all. And they say funny things in Christmas songs from back in the day all the time. “Baby it’s cold outside,” says maybe I’ll have “just one more cigarette.” Can you imagine a modern song saying, “I think I’ll smoke a lucky strike, unfiltered, please…” I get it, songs say funny things once in a while.
Maybe one God cameo in a song about Santa isn’t weird. But then there’s another one. The song ends by saying, “Peace on earth will come to all, if we just follow the light, so lets give thanks to the Lord above, that Santa Claus comes tonight.”
That’s like a mashup of Santa and God done by musician Girl Talk. I feel like God and Santa Claus should be on an album cover, back to back like Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney on the song “Say, Say, Say.” It’s like a gospel sandwich with Santa Claus bread.
But maybe that’s a good thing, maybe I should support more “God Cameos” in Christmas music. I love that he gets shout outs. Maybe I should write my own. Here are a few:
1. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, was blessed with the spiritual gift of brightness, all of the other reindeers wouldn’t let him join their life group.”
2. Winter Wonderland
“Later on, we’ll go shovel, some old lady’s driveway. She’ll be so happy and she’ll trust us, in a winter wonderland, as we all do some missional social justice.”
3. Last Christmas – By Wham!
“Last Christmas, I ‘loved on’ my friends, I told them most importantly that God was all that. I wrapped up their presents, the book ‘Radical’ by author David Platt.”
Wow, I might have missed my calling, those are some fresh lyrics!
What Christmas song would you like to see get a God cameo? And what’s your guilty pleasure Christmas song? Your ‘Christmas shoes,’ if you will, a song you listen to alone but never if someone else is in the car?
