The other day I had the opportunity to grab coffee with Al Andrews. Al runs Porter’s Call, a non-profit counseling center that provides free counseling for musicians and their families in Franklin, Tennessee. It’s an incredibly beautiful ministry and the only way I was able to get some time with Al is because he finds my breakdancing skills so lyrical.
Actually, it’s because he was college roommates with my dad and has been a fixture in our family for years. I was overwhelmed by the hour we spent together and when I tried to capture it, there was only one way to properly tweet it:
“Had coffee and an amazing conversation with @itsalandrews yesterday. It felt like stopping at Rivendell in the midst of a big adventure.”
Without even thinking about it at first, I rolled out a Lord of the Rings reference, which is quintessential stuff Christians like. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized what we really like is to create obscure Lord of the Rings references.
They can’t just be standard. They can’t just be obvious. They need to come from a deep place of Christian nerddom. They have to be layered. Confused? Don’t be, here are 5 ways to make an obscure Lord of the Rings reference:
1. Make sure the reference wasn’t in the movie.
I failed on this one. To properly make an obscure reference, make sure that someone couldn’t have easily, casually seen it in one of the movies. I should have said, “It was like being at Tom Bombadil’s house.”
2. Feel free to reference a cartoon version of the movie.
There are a handful of weird, long forgotten versions of the Lord of the Rings movies that are actually cartoons. Feel free to reference one of those. They’re creepy sometimes, they’re a little dorky and nothing says “obscure” like proudly quoting a cartoon.
3. Name drop your kids at the same time.
Reference your kids at the same time especially if they are named Arwen or Aragorn. Those are probably the two most common Lord of the Rings kid’s names but there’s a chance you named your kid Gimli. If that’s the case, that seven year old better have a red beard. Which would be weird. And a little awesome. But mostly weird.
4. Quote the Silmarillion.
The what? Yeah, that’s right, the Silmarillion. Google it. It’s obscure.
5. Make the reference while wearing Hobbit feet.
Preferably homemade. I mean I’m sure you can buy these, but you really want to go obscure and deep into the lore of the Lord of the Rings? Make all your references while wearing big, canoe-sized hairy Hobbit feet.
I hope these will help you on the road to obscure Lord of the Rings quotes. I hope these tips will fill you with the passion Frodo felt when he returned home and defeated Sharkey and the Ruffians at the Battle of Bywater. Wait, that wasn’t in the movie, was it? Exactly.
Have you ever made an obscure Lord of the Rings reference?
