Dear people who pray out loud with British accents,
I know that your prayers don’t travel on a more direct route to God than mine. I am well aware that there is not an “express prayer lane,” that gets prayers to heaven faster. But every time I’m in a prayer group and someone prays something with the “Queen’s English,” I’m pretty sure that prayer gets heard by God first.
Why do I think that way?
Maybe it’s because, whenever I hear a British accent, I just naturally assume that person is smarter than me. When someone says, “I took the lift to the top floor because the queue for the loo was so long,” I automatically think, “Probably a professor at Oxford. Teaches a class on British Colonial Times if I had to guess. Bet they have a butler named Jeeves and they hunt fox. On horses. Probably have tea every afternoon and use words that I don’t even know about to talk about topics that would make my head hurt. And they subscribe to The Economist. Just the headlines on the cover make me confused. I had to Google how to spell the word “queue.” People with British accents are smarter than me!
Is that why I’m such a huge fan of people who pray with British accents?
Maybe it’s a C.S. Lewis thing? Isn’t he Welsh? Is Wales part of Great Britain? It’s all Great Britain, right? England is England and Ireland is Ireland and Scotland is Braveheart. Right? I’m not positive. I would know this if I was smarter. And had a British accent.
When I hear someone pray with a British accent, they sound like it’s coming out of their mouth in cursive. Long flowing, tangled up letters elegantly dancing through the air. Not the awkward, “just”-laden prayers I pray. “Lord just hear us, just show us your way, just, just, just.” British prayers unfold like the elfin language J.R.R. Tolkien invented. That’s how smart British people are. They get bored with the English language and create new ones. Wish I could pray with a British accent!
That’s how I felt when I heard author Sheila Walsh pray. Her prayer came out in King James Version. Not New either, I’m talking Old School King James. She’s Scottish and has a direct line to Jesus. I’m pretty sure that’s true.
If I’m in a “prayer circle” and someone with a British accent prays, I never pray after them. I consider the circle closed at that point. It’s like the prayer equivalent of Eminem throwing down the mic in the 8 Mile. Boom! It’s over. I just get up and walk away. You can’t follow that!
Am I weird? Am I the only one who’s ever felt like someone who prays with a British accent just took the prayer to a whole new level?