I work in an office. And chances are, you do too.
Unless you don’t.
Maybe you’re a stay-at-home mom, college student, or lumberjack. Maybe you’re on the reality show Finding Bigfoot, which should more appropriately be titled Sad Walks In The Woods.
But if you do work in an office, then you spend a lot of time around the printer. Oh printer, you beehive of papyrus productivity. How I love thee. But as deep as my love runs, so too does my disdain run deep like a river for those who abuse you. (What am I talking about? How did I get off on this river kick? Weird.)
Here are 4 people I have a hard time giving printer grace to:
1. The person who prints an 400-page document and never checks the paper.
If you decide to print the dictionary, there’s an unwritten rule that you have to manage the paper flow during the print job. You can’t sit at your desk, crush the printer, and then casually look up every so often while a team of nine people like a NASCAR pit crew keeps refilling the paper trays your document is emptying.
2. The guy who prints on obscure paper.
“Oh, what’s this?” you think when you see the printer error light blinking. So you press it and it says, “Please load circular paper that is 7.5 inches by 42 inches.” What? Do they make that? What does that mean? Who sent this to the printer? The Riddler? OK, fess up, who here is printing things on the fourth dimension?
3. The toner destroyer.
This isn’t an issue where I work now, but I once had a job where someone printed high-quality, toner-sucking photos of their cats. Cat after cat would pop out of that printer as the glossiest, most-covered-with-toner-paper cat you have ever seen. Later that day, when you went to print out a memo, the printer would say, “Please insert Magenta 287.” At which point you’d shake the old magenta, hoping against all odds like Phil Collins that it had some left.
4. Jam Master Jay
Ah, the printer jam. If your document hasn’t come out of the printer in 6 hours, there’s a good chance it’s jammed. There’s always at least three of these a day. And finding the source of the jam is like filming a very small-scale version of Nicholas Cage’s movie National Treasure. There are levels to pull, buttons to push, a secret accordion you have to play the right notes o,n and finally the printer compartment opens. With hands covered in magenta, you reach deep into the recesses of the printer and pull out what appears to be origami. (Cat origami if you worked where I worked.)
I think we’ve clearly determined that you are a lot nicer than me. You probably gush with grace for these four printer violators. Me? It takes work. And also hypocrisy, because sometimes I’m each of those four! But this isn’t about me. It’s about printers and the people we need to be kind to around them.
Did I miss anyone at the office in my list?