A few weeks ago, I was in a prayer circle.
It was actually more of a prayer rectangle because of the shape of the room, but nobody says that.
Except me. “Prayer rectangle” might be my new favorite phrase. Or the name of an emo Christian band. Either way. Back to the post.
After a few prayer requests, a woman stood up and started to speak.
Turns out she was a prayer request whisperer (PRW). As soon as she started talking, I couldn’t hear a thing. She wasn’t crying. She wasn’t that emotional. She was just very, very quiet. Everyone in the room collectively leaned forward, straining to hear what she was saying, but it didn’t matter. Her words were like dust in the wind, all the words were dust in the wind.
In that moment you only have 3 options:
1. Ask for an encore.
Call an audible. After the PRW has finished the prayer request, simply say, “Can you please repeat that? Only this time, at like an 8?” Chances are, you’re going to look a little like a jerk. No matter how you phrase this request, it’s going to sound like you weren’t listening the first time. The PRW doesn’t know how soft they talk, and they are going to assume you were busy playing Angry Birds the first time they made their request.
2. Vague it up.
If you are leading the prayer and have no idea what a PRW has asked you to pray about, you better go vague. Say things like, “Lord, we pray for your mercy and grace.” (Everyone always needs that.) Or, “Lord, please help us with the things we all said today.” Don’t try to guess on specifics. What might have sounded like “I have a transmission problem in my car” might have actually been “I have a transition problem in my career.” Don’t gamble on specifics. You will get burned. And noticed. (I’m so relevant!)
3. Assume God heard.
He’s God. He’s got this one. He heard. Like he needs people to speak up. He whispered to Elijah. Or Elisha. Someone got whispered to outside of a cave. God loves the whisper. Don’t worry about the PRW. She’s in God’s hands now.
What did I do in that moment?
Well, I wrote myself a note that I should probably do a post about this on Stuff Christians Like. And then I vagued it up.
Have you ever experienced a Prayer Request Whisperer?