Is that a sin?
Could someone who knows Greek or Hebrew jump in on this one?
Is it a sin to buy your own candy before you get to the theater? And maybe wear pants that have big enough pockets to accompany family size containers of Junior Mints? And then walk slowly so as not to rattle said candy near the guy tearing the tickets, but not so slowly that the mint amazingness melts into one solid Junior Mint that you have to hold like a chocolately baseball during the movie?
How about sandwiches? What’s the rule there? If the theater doesn’t offer meatball subs, and it just so happens that a six-inch meatball sub will slide up the sleeve of your coat, and it just kind of looks like you work out your forearms a lot like Popeye, is that bad?
Is it OK if you justify it by saying “the movies are so expensive these days!” so smuggled candy is all I can afford? Is it extra wrong if you hide your candy in your kids’ pockets? Is using your kids as a mule for the Junior Mint underground bad?
Did the disciples ever encounter this dilemma in the Bible? Whole gang went out one day to watch a play and maybe one of them, probably Judas, snuck a fish in? Probably not. It’s hard to sneak fish anywhere. Especially cod. If you’re going to hide a fish in your cargo pants, you’re going to want a flaky white, fairly odorless fish, like a mahi mahi.
What if you tithe the money you save by not buying candy at the theater? Can we pretend that is happening? You take all your candy savings, and use it to buy canned goods for your church?
Is it a sin to bring your own snacks to the movie theater? Can we get a ruling on that? And if not, can we please get at least one comment from one angry person whose dad used to have a Junior Mint farm and his biggest client was movie theaters, and it’s awful, just awful that anyone would ever smuggle in candy?
Anyone?
I’m asking for a friend.