There’s a chance that somebody once put an adult black mamba into an offering basket.
Those snakes are extremely venomous, incredibly fast, and hate contemporary worship music. So if somebody put one of those in an offering basket, then this post should be titled “The next to worst thing ever put in an offering basket.”
Until that day though, this takes the cake.
A few weeks ago, someone sent me a photo. (I’m jon (at) jonacuff.com in case you want to email me.)
It’s a picture of a check that was placed in the offering and, well, I’ll let you see what happened:
So in review:
1. Someone filled out a check for $75.
2. They then wrote VOID on that check.
3. Then they wrote, “Drums way to loud.”
4. Then they put it in the offering basket.
Now I know what you’re thinking: That is whack and “to” is incorrectly used! I agree, but here’s a few things we need to keep in mind before we jump to any crazy conclusions.
1. Maybe, at the church this person goes to, that’s how they give feedback about the service.
Some people have a comment box or a line you can fill in on the bulletin. Other churches just encourage you to talk to staff members if you’ve got some ideas. It’s possible this church encourages the “voided offering check feedback form.”
2. Maybe there’s a passage in the Bible where this kind of thing happens and Jesus high fives everyone after it does.
It’s been a little while since I read the story of the widow’s mite. That’s the one where a widow puts everything she has in the offering at the temple. Maybe it wasn’t a mite she put in. Maybe it was a note on papyrus with a voided mite that said, “Too much shofar horn!”
3. Maybe it’s an elaborate way to guest post on Stuff Christians Like.
It’s really easy to guest post on Stuff Christians Like. We have guidelines and everything like fancier blogs do. But maybe someone thought it was difficult, and then decided that the old “voided check drums to loud” move would do the trick.
4. Maybe Jesus overturned the temple because of drums.
Maybe there was some annoying guy in the temple sitting next to all the money changers playing a kick drum. Or maybe there was some girl playing an upside-down trash can in the temple and wasn’t any good. She was not, as the kids say, “bringing the funk or at all phat.” (The kids still say that right?) So Jesus made a whip, jumped in like a Nazarene swat team and cleaned house against all those drummers.
If any of the options above is what happened, please excuse my apology for misinterpreting your check.
If any of the options above is not what happened, and you did intend to send a message about the volume of the drums via a voided check in the offering basket, stop.
There’s no way that’s WWJD.
Is it me or is that not a kind thing to do?