I appreciate everyone coming here today as we celebrate the fast, but memorable, life of the fast clap.
Born in church the minute a worship leader plays an up-tempo song and encourages everyone to play along, the poor fast clap never stood a chance.
Most humans, especially tired first service church attendees, can’t keep up with a regular paced round of clapping. We always start off so hopeful. We’re going to make it through the entire song! We are bright eyed with hands that believe this time will be different.
The worship leader is clapping over their head so we can easily keep up and for the briefest moment we are all united as one. But then five words into the first verse and the worship leader stops clapping so they can play their guitar. Suddenly, we are without a leader. We are clap drunk no-rhythmatons lost in a forest of blessed be your name.
And that’s just a regular paced song. The fast clap? The one where the song sprints its way to the chorus? Nothing dies faster in a church service than that. What are the backup singers doing up there? Is that some sort of 1, 3, 6.5 clap beat? Their hands are a frenzied, claptastic dance. We are lost. So lost.
Perhaps if we had a tambourine, or even a cowbell, we could keep up. Maybe if the bulletin had an infographic called “Clapping For Dummies,” we might make it through the first verse.
But alas, most churches will not provide those. So today, we eulogize a fallen friend…the fast clap.
You were gone too soon!
Dust in the wind.
