Bragging about our lack of dating experience
When I was 22, I remember wondering if turning 30 and having ‘never been kissed’ was still considered cute.
I was seriously worried about it because, at least in my mind, I was well on my way there. Sweet 16 and kiss-less was cute. Maybe even being a college student and saving that smooch for someone special was still sweet. But I was a working college graduate and still a member of the exclusive ‘never been kissed’ club.
Let me explain. I wasn’t Amish or even from an ultra-conservative family. I was just a typical youth group kid when it suddenly became a fad to “kiss dating goodbye.” So I did. Forget the fact that I wore baggy Christian t-shirts (Abreadcrumb & Fish anyone?) and tucked my pants into my socks. That’s irrelevant. I wasn’t dating because I found out it was against the Bible.
This is not the typical type of high school club. While we secretly hoped to meet a spouse who had also decided to “date differently,” we would use our group gatherings as an opportunity to brag on our non-dating stats. For those of you who weren’t invited (or who had enough social grace to stay away), let me share some of the ways you could earn points:
“I’ve never had a real boyfriend”
“I’ve never been kissed”
“I only go on group or chaperoned dates”
“I broke up with him because God told me to, so now I’ve been single for 6 months”
I’m sure we didn’t mean to brag, but we had worked hard on our non-dating game, and we wanted to share it with the only people in the world who understood. And really, what’s wrong with that?
If you’re new to the non-dating scene, allow me to translate a typical “accountability” meeting for better understanding:
“I’ve never had a real boyfriend” (But I’ve been hanging out with this guy, and we’ve been holding hands for a month. We’re just not Facebook official yet, so we don’t lose any points, right?)
“I’ve never been kissed” (But I’ve done a lot of snuggling, and I’m an occasional PDA offender.)
“I only go on group or chaperoned dates” (But after date night is over, my boyfriend and I Skype until 3 a.m.)
“I broke up with him because God told me to” (I never really found him that attractive, but I can’t tell him that. I’ll just blame it on God.)
If you’re looking to join the club, the rules are really pretty simple. Swear off dating. Different clubs have different rules, so you may have to swear off kissing too. And possibly dancing (although the jury’s still out on the Cha Cha Slide). It’s best if you make a “length of time” commitment–say, one year of no dating. Upon completion, you’ll have to reevaluate based on your dating prospects… er, I mean, God’s will.
Then, just go out and don’t date! You’ll have to discuss club rules on things like hand-holding and being besties with someone of the opposite sex. But at least you have a good starting point if you decide to join the club!
Have you ever sworn off dating?
For more great writing from Kristin, check out her blog!