50 Shades of Amish Romance
As Christians, we certainly can’t be seen clutching a book for our reading pleasure that is 40, 50 or even 60 shades of any kind of drab color. So, we quench our thirst for romance with the wholesome and seemingly prolific Amish romance novel genre. Who knew the plain folk had such intriguing love lives?
The “Real Housewives of Bird-In-Hand” feature tidy buns and sporty little kapps (that’s caps for you who don’t know your Amish speak). If the ladies are searching for a hearty bachelor to receive a rose, they need to look no further than the nearest fresh-faced fellow in black pants and suspenders! ‘Cause everybody knows the hot guys with the Methuselah beards are already off the market! What a rip-off for these hard-working chaps, by the way. At the wedding, instead of exchanging rings, the groom has to say “with these whiskers, I thee wed.” Instead of some new bling, he gets to pitch his razor. Makes sense.
However, he may not make it to wedded bliss if he is the first love interest to show up on Miss Yoder’s doorstep. Sadly, that means he will most likely meet an early demise, often in the form of a terrible buggy accident. Cue the tragic, soul-filled music for Days of our Amish Lives. Which, by the way, fits in well since the sands through the hourglass do not require electrical power in order to operate. After a period of grief – during which nobody cuts her a break in the chores department – she continues to fill her hope chest with durable goods.
Now, love interest number one’s younger brother or best friend will be taking young Miss Yoder around in his accident-free “courting buggy.” Yes, that is actually different from a regular buggy, as it is made just for dating, but not to be confused with a sin wagon! She will then fully win him over with her blue ribbon pies and 50 shades of canned vegetables. Proving his love, a house or barn will be constructed in one day with the “it takes a village” concept, and they will live happily ever after with fruitcake for all. Barring any spooked horses, overturned buggies or blacksmithing disasters!
Do you enjoy keeping up with the Amish and their fictional love stories? Have you detected a formula to many of these books?
(For more great writing from Jennifer, check out her blog!)