Church Sports are the best; and by the best I really mean the most ridiculous and hilarious to watch. Almost anyone that has had any sort of background in athletics (including fantasy football, darts and Madden on the PS3) believe that they are going to be God’s gift to your sports ministry. There are several different athletes that will grace your athletic facility including but not limited to:
The Over Spiritual Guy – This is the guy that lays hands on every twisted ankle, bloody nose and broken nail, while making sure to let every injured “athlete” knows how Jer. 29:11 promises that God has a plan for their ingrown hair.
The In My Prime Guy – Every league has the guy that was the star in college and would blow these young guns away if they were still 21 years old … the only problem is that they now run a 6.2 40 yard dash and look like they ate the running back they used to be.
The Highlight of my Athletic Career Guy – “It is pretty cool that you just hit the game winning single in softball tonight but you do realize that we are playing in the consolation bracket against a team that has not won a game right? So please keep your shirt on and stop yelling “Were going to the Ship””
The Way Overly Aggressive Guy – It’s okay that this guy does not want to give up an easy lay-up but breaking three arm’s in the matter of a month is a little ridiculous.
The Potty Mouth Guy – After striking out again in church softball he yells “Jesus Christ (Look’s at the dugout)………..is my risen Savior”
The I’m Off Today Guy – I know that missing 12 three’s in a row seems like a lot but you should have seen him play open gym ball at the other church. He’s normally “clutch”.
My hope is that eventually churches will have more sports for women so that I can do an amazing “Church Sports Gal,” but until they do, I’ve got to get back to my softball game. I’d be crushing this ball if I was 21 again!
Who is a sports guy or sports girl you’ve seen at your church?