We are in the midst of a Christian movie renaissance. And by renaissance I mean there are two movies about the bible coming out soon, which is a ton. It’s all relative.
In addition to the Son of God, the movie Noah is coming out. If you can’t figure out what it’s about based on the title, you’re probably not going to enjoy anything else on this blog very much.
But as excited as I am about the movie, I do have 5 questions:
1. Does Russell Crowe slip and accidentally call Emma Watson, “Hermione?”
Too soon? I don’t think so. I’d kind of really like this to happen. I don’t need a Neville Longbottom scene, but if Crowe could just once yell something like, “Hermione get those two Komodo dragons!” that would be great.
2. Is there a Braveheart battle scene in the trailer?
Movies take liberties. In the novel version of Transformers for instance, there aren’t any talking robots or Megan Fox. That is what movies do, but I’m pretty sure the Noah trailer has a massive battle scene in it. I suppose something like could have happened but I’m not sure.
3. Will drunk Noah make a cameo?
This still surprises me when I read it in the Bible. Noah, in want of a glass of wine, grows an entire vineyard. Can you imagine the patience? Then he gets drunk and naked and curses his son. Not his finest hour. No way that is getting covered.
4. Will unicorns be addressed at all?
Can we get this settled once and for all? Maybe a couple of pearly white majesties who overslept and missed the boat? I’m just spit balling here.
5. Did the fish die or experience fish heaven?
That’s always been my question. If you’re a fish, is the flood your death too or you’re Greatest. Day. Ever?
Those are my questions for the movie. If I was a smart blogger, I would have gotten some sort of collectible mug for posting about this film from the promoters. But as evidenced by the tenor of these questions, I am not a smart blogger.
Will you go see Noah?