Well done church.
Of the many problems our feet will face, lego is the worst. (Is it lego or legos? What’s the plural of lego? Legi? Legon? Kenny Loggins? I feel like this is turning into a Brian Regan routine. Can we get a ruling on that one?)
I personally don’t need that prayer. I never step barefoot on legos. I step on them, all the time, but now that we live in Nashville I wear cowboy boots. Non stop. I don’t take them off. In the shower, in the pool, in our house, you can take my cowboy boots when you pry them from my cold, sweaty feet. (Even in death I will probably find a way to be too sweaty.)
I’m like a foot version of Tobias, in Arrested Development. I’m not a never nude, I’m a “never de-shoed.” We have rights you know. And lefts, both are covered in boots.
My prayer would be different than what the church asked for. My prayer would be “Lord, please heal the selective blindness that befalls my children whenever they use the stairs in our house.” I swear, the rest of the day their eyesight is amazing. They see everything! Baby birds, quarters on the side walk, there is nothing that misses their attention. Until they take the stairs up to their bedroom.
At that point, they are suddenly struck blind, incapable of seeing all of the things my wife and I have stacked on the stairs for them to carry up to their room. Clothes they need to put away, toys that should be back upstairs, pony tail holders? They can’t see anything. The size and brightness isn’t a factor either, as I have witnessed them deliberately take wide steps over some very bright My Little Pony obstacles.
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The hardest part of this dilemma is that my wife Jenny swears it’s hereditary. She says they got it from me. She has talked to me about this problem many times during our 13 years of marriage. She has ample evidence. Pretty sure she once wrote me a note about it. Unfortunately she left it on the stairs and I never saw it.
Does anyone you know have stair blindness too?