Guest Posts

(Today is a guest post from Barnabas Piper. He’s a pastor’s kid, just like me. You might have heard of his dad, Bill Piper. I’m kidding, it’s John. If you’d like to write a guest post, click here!) 

Back in the 90s, comedian Jeff Foxworthy did a bit called “You Might Be a Redneck if . . .” What followed the “if” was something like “ . . .your wife’s hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan” or “ . . .you refer to the 5th grade as ‘my senior year’.”

I have developed my own set of criteria to help pick out pastors’ kids (PKs). Without further ado, and in the inimitable Jeff Foxworthy spirit:

YOU MIGHT BE A Pastor’s Kid If . . .

. . . you can explain the difference between a narthex, lobby, fellowship hall, and the commons.

. . . Psalty, the Donut Man, and McGee haunt your dreams at night.

. . . you won at least 12 prizes in your life for scripture memory feats.

. . . you snacked on communion bread.

. . . you knew where the janitor kept the church keys and took full advantage.

. . . December 31 isn’t New Year’s Eve, it’s “I hope people give a lot from their Christmas bonuses” day.

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(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s a great new one from Jeremy Jenson!) 

NFL Draft day is coming so I put together my mock draft.

Round 1
Love
No question about it, Love is the greatest in this year’s draft. He is the complete package and will bond your team together like glue. You can try all the tricks in the book but if you don’t pick up Love in the first round there is no way you are making the playoffs.

Round 2
Faithfulness
One of the most consistent players out there you know he won’t let you down. The only problem is that Faithfulness has already said he wants a five to ten year contract. If he gets injured or doesn’t play up to standard you will have a long term liability.

Round 3
Goodness
Great committed team player. His footwork and technique are solid. I can’t think of anything bad to say about this guy except that he may never be one of the greats.

Round 4
Joy
Joy is a quality player. He adds great enthusiasm to the team and will make the two-a-days fun. The down side is he can be a bit oblivious to the outcome of the game. Like it or not he is just out there to have fun.

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(Today’s guest post is from Nina Borum! You can read her blog for more great writing. If you want to write a guest post, send it here.)

Despite my passion for christian dating values and practices I must admit that sometimes I’ve considered turning to the “world” aka COSMOPOLITAN for dating advice. I know this is wrong and that I should only get advice from people who tithe regularly and vote the right way but I have taken all the advice below and find that I am still single.

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(It’s guest post Friday! This one is from Robyn Adams. For more great writing from her, check out her Living the Simple Life Now. If you’d like to write one too, submit it here.)

Prayer meetings are a great thing! My husband has been in the ministry for 12 years and I have been to many of them. Most turn out great. They are a meaningful time spent with God. Prayers shared among believers. Bonds are created. What could be better at church?

But, there are those moments when things get a little uncomfortable. What started out with good intentions has somehow turned “awkward.” There are many ways this can happen. Here are 8 of my “favorite” just plain “weird” prayer moments I’ve experienced as a pastor’s wife.

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(Today is guest post Friday! This one is from Garrett Price! Follow him on Twitter: @GMP_33. If you want to write one, send it here!) 

Church Sports are the best; and by the best I really mean the most ridiculous and hilarious to watch. Almost anyone that has had any sort of background in athletics (including fantasy football, darts and Madden on the PS3) believe that they are going to be God’s gift to your sports ministry. There are several different athletes that will grace your athletic facility including but not limited to:

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(It’s guest post Friday! This one is from Kathleen Leslie! If you’d like to write a guest post, submit one here.)

Christians should have their own dictionaries—not as in a “you can’t look at my cool dictionary with Three Crosses On A Hill or White Jesus With A Lamb emblazoned on the cover of it because you aren’t Christian,” exclusionary kind of dictionary. It would be a dictionary that anyone could have. But only Christians would understand it. It would really be used as a tool for new Christians. Right after we have them stand up to a congregation of 1,000 and point to them as “VISITORS,” clapping wildly and eying them up for signs of recent sin, we can have an usher hand them a handy copy of the Christianary.

What words should be in it?

It should have standards in it, like fruit, defined as the result of Holy Spirit that church friends recognize in you, e.g., “The fruit of Alice’s hard work decorating the church with poinsettias this Christmas is her rosy glow and ability to prune the extraneous food stuck on children’s faces during fellowship time.” It would still contain the other definition (“the sweet and fleshy product of a tree or other plant that contains seed and can be eaten as food”). Naturally, that definition would be secondary.

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