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Guest Posts

Modesty Talks

July 26, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Kristin Weber. You can find out more about Kristin on her website.  You can also follow her on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Modesty Talks

I was taught from a very young age that modesty is an outward reflection of what Christ is doing inwardly. It’s figuring out exactly what that “outward reflection” should look like that causes some robust dialogue within church communities. (Shocking, since Christians rarely disagree on anything.)

I grew up in the conservative home school world, where the “chastity button” (top button) on blouses got fastened and swimsuits included oversized t-shirts and long gym shorts. When I was instructed as a kid to run away if anyone tried to touch me in my bathing suit area, I was like, “so basically if any one tries to touch me at all, run.” (To which my dad responded, “yes.”)

I attended my first official modesty talk around age 13, when we started getting our clothes from worldly places like Coldwater Creek and Eddie Bauer. Up to that point, my mom sewed most of our clothes. (Did anyone else’s mom make them a lady bug jumper complete with a lady bug blouse, lady bug buttons, and a lady bug headband special for their piano recital? Just mine? Thought so. That’s why my mom is better.)

Since then I’ve seen numerous approaches to the modesty “issue.” Here are three of the most memorable:

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Extreme Makeover: Big, Big House Edition

July 19, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Stephen & Shae Pepper. You can check out their blog here. You can also follow them on Twitter @youthworkinit and like them on Facebook. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Extreme Makeover: Big, Big House Edition

Anyone who’s ever seen the show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition knows that it requires a lot of people with different skills to work together to build a house.

Anyone who’s ever read 1 Corinthians 12 knows that it requires a lot of people with different skills to work together to be the body of Christ.

So what would it look like if people from the Bible were to work together to build a house? Here’s our cast listing for Extreme Makeover: Big, Big House Edition:

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50 Shades of Amish Romance

July 12, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Jennifer Faddis. You can check out her blog here. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

50 Shades of Amish Romance

As Christians, we certainly can’t be seen clutching a book for our reading pleasure that is 40, 50 or even 60 shades of any kind of drab color. So, we quench our thirst for romance with the wholesome and seemingly prolific Amish romance novel genre. Who knew the plain folk had such intriguing love lives?

The “Real Housewives of Bird-In-Hand” feature tidy buns and sporty little kapps (that’s caps for you who don’t know your Amish speak). If the ladies are searching for a hearty bachelor to receive a rose, they need to look no further than the nearest fresh-faced fellow in black pants and suspenders! ‘Cause everybody knows the hot guys with the Methuselah beards are already off the market! What a rip-off for these hard-working chaps, by the way. At the wedding, instead of exchanging rings, the groom has to say “with these whiskers, I thee wed.” Instead of some new bling, he gets to pitch his razor. Makes sense.

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The Trials and Tribulations of the Christian Wingman

June 28, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Guy Logan, a screenwriter in London. You can follow him on Twitter here or help him find a flatmate here. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

The Trials and Tribulations of the Christian Wingman

On face value, it’s fair to say that being a Christian wingman should be one of the easiest jobs on earth, ranking somewhere between hotel critic and quality control for Skittles.

After all, there are nearly twice as many single women as single men at church–it’s akin to shooting fish in a barrel. With a shotgun. And the fish are Swedish.

Yep–on face value, Christian wingmanning is straight forward. 1) Help your brother pull the log out of his eye. 2) Assist in the Wife Candidate Selection Process. 3) Run interference on competitors. 4) Coach him during the turbulent dating process. 5) Provide ample High Five Support when he moves to “it’s serious.”

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Top Ten Potluck Dishes to Avoid

June 21, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Phillip Wilson. You can check out his blog here or follow him on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Top Ten Potluck Dishes to Avoid

Church potlucks are always dangerous territory. Dishes abound that are not for the faint of heart. There are concoctions that would scare the pink off a truckload of Pepto Bismol. We are talking about something you are going to PAY FOR in the morning…if you make it till morning. For those reasons, we have comprised a list of the top ten potluck dishes to avoid:

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Committee on Committee on Committees

June 14, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Josh Daffern. You can check out his blog here or follow him on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Committee on Committee on Committees

Growing up Baptist, I was entranced by the abundance of committees that seemed to cover every facet of church life. A committee for flowers? Check. A hostess committee? Check. (Only later did I realize that this committee had nothing to do with my favorite brand of comfort foods). But one committee always intrigued me with its deeply authoritative and far-reaching title: the Committee on Committees.

This was the pinnacle! This was the magical-smoke-filled-back-room committee where the real power existed. Who wanted to be on something lame like the Properties Committee when you could be on the Committee on Committees? This committee was the supreme power, the Council of Elrond of Baptist churches.

As I grew a little older, my male aspirations of world domination played itself out in my Baptist world, and I created a new, fictitious, uber-powerful committee that would rule all committees: the Committee on Committee on Committees. This highly secretive committee would wield uncontrolled power to install puppet committees throughout the church.

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Coffee houses: Bars for Christians

May 31, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Drew Marshall. You can check out his blog here or follow him on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Coffee houses: Bars for Christians

As single Christians, we are told time and time again that, in order to meet our future husband/wife, we should scour the church, because that’s really the only place to find good spousal material. But finding your Boaz or Ruth can be tricky on Sunday mornings, especially since it’s a difficult transition from a sermon about Stephen’s martyrdom to “Hey, uh, can I get your number?” Singles groups can be nice, but the sheer awkwardness of such a forced environment isn’t exactly conducive to getting a date. So where else are Christians to turn? Luckily, there is a highly caffeinated haven for singles activity: the coffee house.

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The Ultimate Church Potluck Menu

May 24, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Stephen Pepper. You can check out his blog here. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

The Ultimate Church Potluck Menu

Something all Christians love to do is have a church potluck. It gives us a great opportunity to fellowship and do life together while sidehugging in our V-necks.

But do you ever feel though like we’re not always fulfilling our potluck potential? Is there a hole that two crock-pots of chili doesn’t seem to fill? That there’s got to be more to potluck life than just another spoonful of potato salad?

If so, here’s my guide to the Ultimate Church Potluck Menu.

Appetizers
Chips & no salsa dancing
Omelet the children come to me
For my yolk is over-easy
Calimary
Mozzarella cheesus sticks
Soar on buffalo wings like eagles

Meat
Adam’s spare ribs
Lamb-entations
Blessed be your game
Like a beef in the night
BethleHam
Abrahamburgers
Rock of saus-ages
Pork (back)sliders
Elijah’s fire-roasted steaks
Deer Lord

Fish
Almighty cod
Amazing plaice
Salmon on the mount
It is well with my sole
Trout to the Lord

Side Dishes
Simon Pita bread
Teachers of the coles-law
Sanctifries
Gnocchi and the door will be opened to you
Stephen’s stoned-baked pizza
Tobymac n’ cheese
Soy to the world
Guacamole spirit
I will give you the quiche of the kingdom of heaven

Vegetables
Lettuce pray
Caesar Augustus salad
Peas on Earth
There’s no mushroom at the inn
Jonah and the kale
The gourd is my shepherd
Rahabenero peppers
Brussels sprouting Thomas
Shallot’s wife
Corn again

Desserts
How great’s thou tart
Pumpkin Pilate
Take this cupcake from me
Jars Of Creme Brulee
Ap-Paul pie
Leviticustard

Fruit
Passionfruit of the Christ
The Lord’s Pear
Fruit salad of the spirit
Walk on watermelon
Mango and make disciples of all nations

Beverages
TriniTea
Philemonade
Christal Light
Love your chardonneighbor

Items that didn’t quite make the (crinkle) cut
Abedn-Eggo’s waffles
Milky Way, the truth and the life
Land of milk and honey nut Cheerios
John The Baptist’s platter

Question: What other items would you add to the Ultimate Church Potluck Menu?

(For more great writing from Stephen, check out his blog.)

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Giving Christian Singles Awkward Advice

May 17, 2013 by Jon

(Today is Guest Post Friday.  Here’s one from Kristin Weber, a comedian from Dallas. You can check out her website here or follow her on Twitter. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

Giving Christian Singles Awkward Advice

I’m single, in my late twenties, and live in the Bible Belt. Needless to say, I get some pretty spectacular advice both about being single and how to become unsingle. At this point, I almost want to stay single so I can keep getting new story material.

Here are my top five favorite bits of awkward advice I’ve received from kind, well-meaning church folk about my current “condition”:

1. “Let your heart marinate in the Word. That’s how God prepares you for marriage.”

Marriage sounds like a barbeque. Awesome.

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My 3 Excuses for not watching The Bible on the History Channel

April 26, 2013 by Jon

(It’s guest post Friday!  Here’s one from Scott Higa.  You can check out his blog here and follow him on Twitter.  If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)

My 3 Excuses for not watching The Bible on the History Channel

I have a confession to make.

I didn’t watch The Bible on the History Channel.

There, I feel better. My load is definitely easier, and my burden is much lighter.

I’m not opposed to Christian programming. I endured The Passion of the Christ and shared how it made me feel with my small group. I have watched numerous Veggie Tales movies and have even sung “The Hairbrush Song” at the top of my lungs. I even sat through Psalty, the singing praise book, which scarred me more than Mel Gibson ever could.

I’m not opposed to watching The Bible, but here are some reasons why I couldn’t:

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Jon Acuff is the New York Times Bestselling author of four books including his most recent, Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average & Do Work that Matters. Read More…

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