Last week, the alarm system in our house started going off at 5 in the morning. It was still dark out or otherwise I would have been fine. Let’s get that straight right now. If it was bright out, I probably would have just rolled right out of bed onto the massive pile of pillows my wife insists belong on our bed when we’re not in it and then just punched whoever set off the alarm right in the face.
Then I would have kicked him for telling me I write run on sentences like that last one, which would have been an oddly specific thing for a cat burglar to know about me.
But it was dark, so here, in a rambletastic list are the things that went through my head: