Serious Wednesdays

If Men’s Health magazine was true, you would never need to buy more than one issue. If the articles that promised flat abs and less stress and better sex really worked as promised, you’d never need to have a subscription because every issue is the exact same thing. This was the thought I had while standing at the magazine rack at Wal-Mart watching my daughters read My Little Pony books. (Long live Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie by the way. Toola-Roola is a punk. I don’t even know what Toola-Roola is into, at least Rainbow Dash is all about rainbows.)

As I stood there, though, I noticed something else kind of weird. The promises that the front cover of men’s magazines make were eerily similar to the promises that the back cover of Christian books make. So I thought it might be fun to play a little guessing game and see if you can figure out which is which:

1. “Build your perfect life and strip away stress for good”
A. Front Cover of Men’s Magazine
B. Back Cover of Christian Book

2. “The Secret to Effortless Success”
A. Front Cover of Men’s Magazine
B. Back Cover of Christian Book

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A few weeks ago, my wife made Thai soup. I don’t know the exact name, but I do know it was delicious. I’m not just saying that because she reads this blog and I find her incredibly attractive. The soup was honestly good.

I’d never had it before, but it had some sort of coconut milk, pepper, curry, flavor explosion thing going on. In the middle of the meal, I saw a thin, innocent looking red pepper in my spoon. As with most times I’ve eaten a meal, I then took the spoon and put the contents of it in my mouth. (Are you eating differently? Not putting the concave end of the spoon in your mouth? Interesting.)

That was apparently the wrong thing to do, because the second I bit into that pepper, a small fire erupted in my mouth.

I’ve eaten hot stuff before. I giggle at wasabi at sushi restaurants. I laugh at hot salsa at Mexican restaurants. But this was like something I’ve never experienced. I didn’t have the mental will power to physically beat this pepper. My eyes immediately started pouring tears that I can only assume were made of fire. My tongue felt like lightning, and my lips started to debate with each other whether they should blister or not.

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One of Satan’s most brilliant lies is that if you surrender something to God, you’ll receive something less beautiful in return.

If you empty your hands, God will place something less amazing in them.

You’ll surrender gold and, in return, receive dirt.

This is one of the lies of pornography: That when you let go of that secret it will be replaced with humdrum, boring, vanilla, sex with your spouse.

This is the lie of chasing your dream: That when you let go of your plans and trust God’s, he will call you into a mission that you will hate.

This is the lie of holding on to hurts. That when you let go of your wounds, they’ll be reopened, not healed and redeemed.

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A few years ago, I planned to have a party at my house with readers of my first blog. I was going to read a few things, my friend Scott was going to play some music, and my friend Ben was going to do some delightful things with food.

Then it snowed in Georgia and I had to cancel the event.

I wrote a post on my blog announcing the party was off. I thought I would be clever so I mentioned that Barry Manilow had canceled too. If I am being honest, I thought at least a few people would post messages saying how disappointed they were the party was canceled.

I know that’s probably shallow, but I can’t just write about the good bits on my blog and make myself seem more put together than I am. So the truth is that I thought my post about the party being canceled would generate a bunch of emails/comments in the first 24 hours. And I would feel important or missed or something.

I got 1 email in the first 24 hours.

Here is what it said:

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Note to self:

If you write a tweet about Lil’ Wayne and that tweet gets retweeted so many times that it ends up on the homepage of Twitter, Lil’ Wayne fans will do virtual drive by’s on you.

Lesson learned.

I had Lil’ Wayne on my mind because recently, I wrote about “Things I shouldn’t even know exist.” I included a list of pop culture items I enjoy, but probably shouldn’t be spending a whole lot of time/head space with. Things like the show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” or Lil’ Wayne’s music.

Do you know what my favorite type of response to that post was?

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(Every Friday is Guest Post Friday on Stuff Christians Like. But today, for the first time ever, I’m posting a guest post on Serious Wednesday. Why? Because Scott Jamison blew my mind with this idea, and I thought you might dig it too. For more great content from Scott, check out his blog.)

Every Wednesday, Jon Acuff puts out a serious post (he still manages to stick in quite a bit of humor in these, too) and some time ago I started to compile the last sentence or phrase from each of them. Here they are:

 

Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned From Stuff Christians Like Serious Wednesdays’ Last Lines

You are found.

God loves you.

Are you packing?

I can’t handle near.

God cares for the lonely

He knows the way we take.

I don’t want “at least” faith.

Yeah, but God is on our side.

God’s love is ridiculous to me.

“I cannot do it, but God will …”

Let’s retire the idea of failure.

Death to better, long live new.

We all get the comma of grace.

Look for a savior, not a solution.

Today, quit being lazy for the Lord.

Let’s stop giving God our last fruits.

The reason for the season is a rescue.

Today, God says, “I know, my son, I know.”

God doesn’t want your solution. He just wants you.

Give up the horses. The King is near. Love has arrived.

In God’s economy, the impossible is a gift, not a curse.

Let’s put the apples down. We’ve already got the orchard.

Because he loves us. In his arms. In the pigpen. He loves us.

I’ve got God, right now. I don’t need the idol of what’s next.

Jesus always plays with the kids no one else plays with on the playground.

God’s bigger than that thing you worried about or dreamt about. I promise.

God is doing a new thing. In me, in you, in us. The old has gone, the new has come!

He’s God. I’m me. When I remember that simple arrangement, life goes so much better.

The God who loved Judah and David and Paul, loves you. And that’s a very redeeming thought.

Sometimes the stranger you meet has a story to share, if, you’ll take the time to ask a question.

Your identity is set. That debate is over. Today, don’t be a shy work of art. Be a loud work of art.

You’ve been with Jesus – A savior who loves doing extraordinary things with ordinary people like us.

Rescue is a one way trip. There will be no going back. For you, for me, for all the imperfect people.

More banners. Less guns. More grace. Less works. More boasting. Less hiding. Want to come with me?

You and I can rest in the truth of that and be bold in the risks we take and the hope we have. Because our identity is not at stake.

What does He call us? What phrase or words does he give us instead of “Real Christian?” Son. Daughter. And it turns out, those two words are enough.

 

(For more awesome stuff from Scott, check out his blog, The Responsible Puppet.)

God keeps refusing to fit into my formulas for him.

Just when I think I’ve got him figured out, he throws a curveball.

For years, I’ve secretly believed that if I do my quiet times the “right way,” God will be happy with me and bless me and not smite me.

What’s the right way? What’s the recipe for a quiet time that “counts.” I’ll tell you:

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When we came up for the playlist for the Quitter Conference, there was one song I had to make sure was on it. Can you guess what it is?

I know what you’re thinking, “Open the Gates and Seize the Day,” from the Newsies soundtrack. Nope, wasn’t that one, although that song is awesome. It wasn’t Eye of the Tiger either. I’ll give you a clue, the artist’s name starts with “E” and ends with “l Debarge.”

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